Category Archives: Funny

Everything Is Awesome

Apparently CNBC showed this after last Thursday’s close. Just sayin’.

Doom

Rough Diamond

Not strictly financial, but Britain’s new foreign minister has a way with words. Some of his gems:

On Hillary Clinton’s candidacy in 2007:

“She’s got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital; and as I snap out of my trance I slap my forehead in astonishment. How can I possibly want Hillary? I mean, she represents, on the face of it, everything I came into politics to oppose: not just a general desire to raise taxes and nationalise things, but an all-round purse-lipped political correctness.”

On Islam in 2005:

“To any non-Muslim reader of the Koran, Islamophobia — fear of Islam — seems a natural reaction, and, indeed, exactly what that text is intended to provoke. Judged purely on its scripture — to say nothing of what is preached in the mosques — it is the most viciously sectarian of all religions in its heartlessness towards unbelievers.”

On the EU, in 2013:

First they make us pay in our taxes for Greek olive groves, many of which probably don’t exist. Then they say we can’t dip our bread in olive oil in restaurants. We didn’t join the Common Market – betraying the New Zealanders and their butter – in order to be told when, where and how we must eat the olive oil we have been forced to subsidize.”

On Tont Blair’s 2002 visit to Africa:

“What a relief it must be for Blair to get out of England. It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies … They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.”

A true fellow spirit to Winston Churchill, another master in the very British tradition of elegant vitriol.

Literacy Is Dead

From reading today. These were professional writers:

A person who fails to perform a legal duty is found “negligent,” not “negligible.”

It is “hypocrisy,” not “hippocracy” (horses rule?)

Time For Bears To Have Fun

The Economic Goon Show

If you ever wanted clear evidence that economics is not a science, simply read the news this morning:

In the US, after 7 years of ZIRP and QE, the expected December rate hike is supposed to push up inflation and confirm the economy is improving; it is naturally bullish for stocks.
In Europe, a year and a half of NIRP and a year of QE, an imminent rate cut further into negative territory is supposed to push up inflation and confirm the economy is improving; it is naturally bullish for stocks.

With apologies to Spike Milligan. “When Alice spoke, her words would appear as a series of meaningless squiggles. Her tribe lives on Goon Island and the Goons are indistinguishable from each other.”

Quote Of The Day

“We’ve provided all the emails we could find to the State Department. There’s only about an 18 1/2 minute gap.”

– Hillary Clinton

A note from our attorneys: This is not a real quote. Thanks to the Blog on Obama: White House Dossier

Free Markets?

Bloomberg reports this morning that Tesla is now selling cars online in China – via Alibaba, of course. Meanwhile, back in the USA, Tesla is struggling in the courts with the old-line dealers in many states, who are attempting to enforce the monopoly on car sales that they have purchased by bribing corrupt legislators.

Which is the free market economy?

Late Bloomer

The award winners for the UK’s 2015 Good Pub Guide are out. “The 2015 edition of the Good Pub Guide, released on Thursday, celebrates the very best of Britain’s drinking establishments. Winners were recognized in more than a dozen national categories.”

Only in Britain… the 2015 New Pub of the Year actually opened in 1715.

SInce the Pub of the Year apparently dates from around 1300, I suppose it will take another 400 years or so to get the top award.

I Feel Better Now

30 reasons not to worry about a stock market crash. Opinion: Everyone knows that bearishness is for losers.